The Shame Spiral is the Actual Problem

Nobody talks about this part, so I’m going to.

When small business owners avoid their books — and most of them do, at some point — it’s rarely because they’re lazy or irresponsible. It’s because looking at the numbers feels like a verdict. And if you’re not sure the verdict is going to be good, it’s easier to just not look.

I get it. I run my own business. I know what it feels like to be afraid of your own bank account.

But here’s what I’ve learned from working with a lot of small business owners: the anticipation is almost always worse than the reality. The thing you’ve been dreading looking at is usually not as bad as you’ve convinced yourself it is. And even when it is as bad as you feared, knowing is still better than not knowing. Because knowing gives you something to work with.

Avoidance doesn’t make the situation better. It just delays the moment when you have to deal with it — and adds interest in the form of stress, late fees, and the compounding weight of everything you’ve been putting off.

I have never once had a client show me their books and thought less of them for the mess. What I think, every single time, is: okay, I can fix this. Because I can. That’s the job.

The shame spiral — the avoiding, the apologizing before you even show me anything, the “you’re probably going to run” — that’s the part that actually costs you. Not the messy books.

Here’s my honest advice: make the call. Send the email. Fill out the contact form. Whatever the first step is for you, take it before you talk yourself out of it again.

You don’t have to have it together before you ask for help. That’s literally what the help is for.

— Kimberly

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